Today, I have Jordan and Samantha from Oysters and Chocolate guest blogging about their new anthology, Nice Girls, Naughty Sex. And, may I say I really like the cover, with the mistress in red with her riding crop and the sub in collar and black boots with her manacles? I have a copy sitting right here as I type this and am really looking forward to diving in! Thanks Samantha and Jordan!
D.L. - Thank you so much for having us on your fabulous blog! We've been engaged in an ongoing conversation lately about the nature of our industry -- smart smut -- and it's an honor to get to talk with an industry icon like you. It’s always a boost to the morale.
Our second anthology, Nice Girls, Naughty Sex, was just released. We're so excited about our newest baby, and we like to talk about it whenever we can. After all it’s packed to the brim with some of the top talent in our industry and full of salacious and sexy tales for all.
However, we've recently noticed that opening our big provocative mouths sometimes gets us slapped, and not in a fun way.
For example, Samantha was recently meeting with some legal professionals for advice. When asked what she did for a living, she cheerily replied that she writes and edits erotica and sex advice. After a short, awkward pause, voices became strained and lips pursed. One woman refused to look Sam in the eye from then on out. Needless to say, the meeting was cut short and Samantha drove home feeling both sad and indignant.
Conversely, Jordan had a great experience (which she shared in April's editor's letter) at a dinner party with what appeared to be a very conservative guest list. Although she had planned on keeping conversation steered away from her (ahem) more colorful career choices, she ended up passionately confessing she edits erotica and writes sex advice. Part of her was sure she would be booted from the party, but instead, she was embraced and became the focal point of the conversation. With her confession, the table turned from polite and formal to animated and a bit raucous; more wine was poured and smiles glowed bigger.
After we exchanged stories, we ruminated on the nature of our biz, and how many times we've encountered prejudice and (on the flip side) been surprisingly embraced. When we first started out, the Small Business Association in Boulder, Colorado wouldn't help us with our business plan because our business was "adult". And Tattered Cover, a huge independent book store in Denver (with an entire section dedicated to erotica) wouldn't host an author reading for our first book when it came out. But on the flip side, the most conservative-seeming people out there, from Mormon housewives to Midwest soccer moms have touted their undying love of erotica and all that we publish, and our own lovely independent book store in Boulder, The Boulder Book Store, actually reaches out to us and invites us to schedule signings, even before our books get off the printers.
The long and short of it is, it's hard to anticipate how we'll be received. The people we think will poo-poo us usually surprise us, and when we feel safe and confident that we're in the company of allies, ugly small judgments rear their ugly, misshapen heads.
Like it or hate it, we do feel that our presence and what we all do by writing and publishing erotica and putting ourselves out there in the world (or on the web) gives everyone else more permission to talk about sex and be more sexual, however they choose to do that. In personal circles, we notice that when we bring up what we do, it unlocks conversation that otherwise never happens. A woman hears that we edit erotica, and she then feels free to share an amazing night she recently had with a lover. A couple finds out we write sex advice, and they dish on their favorite positions. That's truly something to be proud of, no matter how many awkward pauses and disapproving looks we get.
For example, Samantha was recently meeting with some legal professionals for advice. When asked what she did for a living, she cheerily replied that she writes and edits erotica and sex advice. After a short, awkward pause, voices became strained and lips pursed. One woman refused to look Sam in the eye from then on out. Needless to say, the meeting was cut short and Samantha drove home feeling both sad and indignant.
Conversely, Jordan had a great experience (which she shared in April's editor's letter) at a dinner party with what appeared to be a very conservative guest list. Although she had planned on keeping conversation steered away from her (ahem) more colorful career choices, she ended up passionately confessing she edits erotica and writes sex advice. Part of her was sure she would be booted from the party, but instead, she was embraced and became the focal point of the conversation. With her confession, the table turned from polite and formal to animated and a bit raucous; more wine was poured and smiles glowed bigger.
After we exchanged stories, we ruminated on the nature of our biz, and how many times we've encountered prejudice and (on the flip side) been surprisingly embraced. When we first started out, the Small Business Association in Boulder, Colorado wouldn't help us with our business plan because our business was "adult". And Tattered Cover, a huge independent book store in Denver (with an entire section dedicated to erotica) wouldn't host an author reading for our first book when it came out. But on the flip side, the most conservative-seeming people out there, from Mormon housewives to Midwest soccer moms have touted their undying love of erotica and all that we publish, and our own lovely independent book store in Boulder, The Boulder Book Store, actually reaches out to us and invites us to schedule signings, even before our books get off the printers.The long and short of it is, it's hard to anticipate how we'll be received. The people we think will poo-poo us usually surprise us, and when we feel safe and confident that we're in the company of allies, ugly small judgments rear their ugly, misshapen heads.
Like it or hate it, we do feel that our presence and what we all do by writing and publishing erotica and putting ourselves out there in the world (or on the web) gives everyone else more permission to talk about sex and be more sexual, however they choose to do that. In personal circles, we notice that when we bring up what we do, it unlocks conversation that otherwise never happens. A woman hears that we edit erotica, and she then feels free to share an amazing night she recently had with a lover. A couple finds out we write sex advice, and they dish on their favorite positions. That's truly something to be proud of, no matter how many awkward pauses and disapproving looks we get.
We want to give a big thanks to all the talented men and women out there who put on their hard hats (and condoms) and descend into the coal mines of erotic writing. And an even bigger thanks to all the people who enjoy and support the smart smut, your encouragement is what keeps us going!
Nice Girls, Naughty Sex is available online and at bookstores everywhere!
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Great piece, J & S. I'm sure a lot of us can relate. Thanks for hosting, DLK!
ReplyDeleteThank you so much for sharing your experiences, both the positive and negative. I've had some surprises in both directions myself, and although I believe profoundly in the good of what erotic writing does for our society, I've sometimes felt emotionally wounded. Reading this post made it clearer to me what a brave and necessary endeavor it is to write, edit and publish thoughtful erotica. I thank you both, Jordan and Samantha, for your hard work, your courage and your inspiration to us all!
ReplyDeleteThanks for hosting D.L. and for your comments Jeremy and Donna!
ReplyDeleteIt's so nice to connect with others in our industry and realize we all share similar experiences, it makes the challenges that much easier to swallow (just like getting in the right position for a great B.J. lol)
xxo